The “Funny Pages” (Great Bathroom Reading)

                       

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A book is the only place in which you can examine a fragile thought without breaking it, or explore an explosive idea without fear it will go off in your face.  It is one of the few havens remaining where a man’s mind can get both provocation and privacy.  ~Edward P. Morgan

It is what you read when you don’t have to that determines what you will be when you can’t help it.  ~Oscar Wilde

I named this page after one of my dad’s favorite parting words, ‘ See you in the funny pages kid!’

These are some of my favorite stories I have written…

  

The Cold Courage

  

Julie Bouquet ran her long fingers through her thick, curly hair that varied from red to blonde. She dreaded the undisclosed day they would execute her. Her almond-shaped and wide-set greenish eyes peered out the slender window composed of cloudy, unbreakable plastic emboldened with iron bars on the inside and razor-sharp barbed wire on the outside. The glaring sun beating down on her medium reddish-brown skin didn’t portray the gloomy forecast in her mind. It had merely been months before that there were men worshiping and clamoring around her sultry oval face, with a perky small nose. She closed her eyes and laid down on her bare cot in her private prison cell….(more)

 

  

The Snake’s Nobody

  

Conrad Yeager pulled back the soft brown tendrils of his sister Lilith’s hair and whispered softly into her left ear. “I love you, and I will be here for you when you get back.” She sniffled in the antagonistic winter chill,  snowflakes dancing lightly upon her frowned forehead.They rode in perfect silence, not discussing the events that led them to this point in their young lives. The road was arduous to navigate, billowing snow banks bordering the long, winding road. Lilith kept her head down most of the way to the bus station, picking nervously at her long-sleeved shirt made of yellow linen and sewn with flowers and vines in sapphire. Her stretchy khaki leggings were supple and comfortable for her growing frame. Conrad gave Lilith one last kiss on her cheek. “You don’t love me do you?” Lilith pulled back from Conrad’s brief embrace. She looked down again, this time at Conrad’s amber-toned wool knickers, black scuffed loafers, and the frayed bottom edges of his olive-drab buttoned-up shirt. She was bitter he wasn’t trying to help her in this pivotal point in her life…(more)                             

 

I Should Have Married My Cat

 

When I awake in the morning the first thing I see
Is my cat Abigail looking at me.

  

Whether I am in the tub or cooking dinner,
She thinks I am a winner.  

 

With attentive, listening ears
She listens to my daily struggles and all of my fears. 

  

There is never an issue with body odor,
Early morning through the late evening hours when I hold her…(more)